One Paragraph Movie Review: Black Swan

Forty-fifth film: Black Swan, a film famous for collarbones, dream sequences, and sexual harassment in the workplace, thanks to Natalie Portman’s boss spending the entire movie basically telling her to dance a bit more like a slut. The physical performance from Ms Portman is utterly incredible, thanks in part to some superb eyebrow acting. The result is incredibly stressful, a label that ballet — with its existing reputation for people being mean to each other and eating disorders, could probably do without. Even when the main character tries some relaxation therapy in her bedroom, she realises her mother is in a chair beside the bed, prompting this polite household to coin the phrase ‘momsturbation’. What a movie though, eh? Very, very beautiful to watch. And a very, very bad time. Four excruciating hangnails out of five.