One Paragraph Movie Review: Blue Velvet

Fiftieth film — FIFTIETH — Blue Velvet. One of the least Lynchian Lynch films, what it lacks in bizarre non sequiturs it makes up for in extreme, unsettling violence. David Lynch’s lifelong crush on both Kyle McLachlan and Laura Dern puts its shoes and socks on here, whilst thanks to some gas huffing and reasonably brutal acts, I put my lifelong crush on Dennis Hopper on pause for a bit. A pretty decent semi-detective story mixed into a questionably two-faceted romance, it goes alright actually thank you very much. Except people should be like, heaps nicer to ladies than they are in Lumberton. Three and three-quarter severed ears out of five.