One Paragraph Movie Review: Dangerous Liaisons

Ninety-first film: Dangerous Liaisons. Watching this in my house with a pause button available rather than in a cinema in 1988 really, really makes a difference to my ability to understand every little malevolent detail and influence of this movie and its two leading conniving assholes, and I LOVED IT. Adapted from a play that was adapted from a book, and itself on-adapted to be Cruel Intentions, nothing is as bitchy as 18th Century powdered and be-wigged bitchiness, and it’s glorieux. This thing makes me want to have enough time, money, and complete lack of empathy to just sit around in glamour-frocks plotting intricate scenarios to mess with people’s lives, but dammit, I have laundry to do. The settings and costuming are sublime, and the casting — with the jarring exception of Keanu Reeves in hosiery — is perfection. Four point nine extremely squished-up boobies out of five.