One Paragraph Movie Review: The Blair Witch Project

Forty-seventh film: The Blair Witch Project, or its alternate title Why Are People Called Heather So Annoying or its second alternate title Third Time, Still Shit, or its third alternate title See This Is Why I’m Not That Into Camping or its fourth alternate title Why Is He Just Facing The Wall Like That or its fifth alternate title My Housemate Just Wants To Watch A Bill Murray Movie. This is an important film because it was made in a unique way and cost hardly anything but made millions, but there’s a reason nobody repeated the experiment. The very simple story’s great, but the characters are so loathsome that by about half an hour in you’re pretty much cheerleading for the witch. One and a half suspended stick men out of five.