One Paragraph Movie Review: The Great Escape

Two hundred and first film: The Great Escape, a World War II prisoner-of-war escape film that should make anyone near me for the next few days relieved that I can’t whistle. The theme music is so ubiquitous and chipper that its appearance immediately after an MG42 mini-massacre makes murder by the gestapo feel almost jaunty. Based loosely on a real escape intended to inconvenience the Germans as much as possible, this bloody good movie doesn’t seem almost three hours long, what with its galloping plot, ingenious tunnel-dirt removal techniques and uber-charismatic all-male cast. This thing is so blokey that one of the escape tunnels the characters dig is called ‘Dick’ and when Charles Bronson experiences a minor cave-in and shouts “we must have more wood!” I whispered “honey, I don’t think that’s possible”. The ultimate Boys’ Own adventure, this thing has soldiers, nerds, sweat, guns, motorbikes, cigarettes, nicknames and big blocks of bribery chocolate, all wrapped up in an exciting yarn and a tense moment on a steam train. Honestly if war movies didn’t constantly remind me that grown up men put themselves in needlessly dangerous situations just to show how big and tough they are, I’d ask this one out on a date. Four secret dirt-disposal trouser-socks out of five.