One Paragraph Movie Review: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Three hundred and thirty-fourth film: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Okay look. This is not my kind of thing, but know this: I understand that for people whose thing this is, it is very much one of the best of its type of things. Know this also: if you must be something that is not my kind of thing, at least include Viggo Mortensen. Viggo Mortensen is my kind of thing, A group of men of various heights, weapon skills, and ear shapes obsess over a piece of jewellery that could end the world in the wrong hands. One of the shortest and most trustworthy ones takes it towards a mountain to destroy it, intermittently interrupted by glowing, helpful ladies. The scary monsters are scary. The earnest elves are earnest. The hobbits provide moderate comic relief by eating many meals. The short one gets a third of the way there. I have to give this at least three out of five or I’ll be in trouble with eight to ten of my favourite people. Three point one orc/goblin hybrids out of five.